It goes without saying that divorce is probably going to be a bumpy ride, even if you and your spouse are cordial about the separation. While divorce is rarely easy, there are ways that you can make it go more smoothly. Receiving advice from mediators, lawyers, and other experts can help you reach divorce finalization with minimal surprises. Regardless of if you saw the divorce coming or not, or had initiated it yourself, divorce is never going to be perfect. You probably thought that your marriage would last forever, so it’s understandable that feelings such as resentment, anger, and other emotions may cloud your judgment during this time.
When meeting with the lawyer, they will probably have you established some goals so that you are both on the same page. To help you properly, your lawyer is going to need to know as much about your marriage as possible and your current concerns. Here are some tips to help you stay on the right track when road bumps arise:
Know What You Want
Now that your life is going in a different direction than you had originally planned, it will be important to think about what you want from life. Are there goals that you have always wanted to achieve? Is there any place you have wanted to move to? These are things to think about so that you can look forward to the new future instead of getting caught up in problems of the old one.
Despite the divorce, you still may be able to have a civil conversation with your spouse. Unless domestic violence or threat of harm is a factor, mediation can be a useful way to arrive at a solution while also avoiding the cost of attending court. Mediation is when an unbiased mediator guides the conversation in a way so that compromise can happen. The spouses may find that they walked into mediation completely at odds, only to find that they were able to reach a solution that works for them both. Topics that may be discussed during mediation include divorce settlement terms, child custody, alimony, division of property and debts, and more.
Focus On Your Kids
If you have children together with your spouse, remember that it will only cause more harm if your children feel like they have to choose between you and the other parent. Unfortunately, some parents may pin children against the other as a way to seek revenge for the divorce. But if you and the other parent engage in behaviors that make the situation even more tense, your children may be the ones to suffer.
As our divorce lawyer friends from Bernie Kempen have seen before, divorces can turn a person’s life upside down. Divorce can feel like murky waters to navigate, and the only way to be fully prepared for it is by focusing on your goals, the future, and recruiting help from professionals to assist along the way.